[fic] Punishment

[transient_words]

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing. 

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Because Lelouch is grouchy and bitchy, Suzaku decides to teach him a lesson. PWP. NC-17 (obviously a fail! summary of what's really going on here).

Author's Notes: A fic that I can't describe, BUT is written (very lovingly, I might add) for the lovely Dooki-chan who has a been lovely friend through pancakes, nibbles and rotting gleefully XD. Beta'd and whipped into shape by the amazing, wonderful Boke-chan.

Warning(s): long-winded descriptions, unabashed abuse of brackets, smut and um, non-stellar characterisation? Also, an exercise in something that was meant to PWP, but actually isn't. Criticism is fine, but if you're going to be snide and rude, please don't bother.

Anyhow, I hope you're happy with this, Dooki-chan. This fic killed me T_T.

...

Suzaku was usually a patient and rational person. Or so he'd tell you. On a purely objective scale, however, you couldn't really call a person patient and rational when he jumped from one dangerous situation to another, had killed his father in a moment of stubborn rage and was currently doing his best not to be upset of the fact that Lelouch - arrogant prat that he was - was refusing him sex yet again (notwithstanding the fact that it insulted his male ego quite a bit). Alright, Suzaku could understand that Lelouch was tired; being a monarch was probably not the most relaxing job out there. You had subordinates to give orders to, wars to prepare and lovely and catchy propaganda to come up with to feed to the gullible masses (who, like hungry dogs in trapped in a cage, took up anything you tossed at them). So yes - and Suzaku really had to digest this bit of information - being the disowned son of the recently deceased emperor Charles Vi Britannia wasn't an easy task. It was probably like standing in the middle of a deserted, scorching hot landscape and waiting, waiting while a hungry pack of coyotes - eager to gobble down and chew, chew your bones like a hot, juicy slab of chicken meat - was circling you, getting closer and closer to you.

 

But ugly and awkward metaphors aside, Suzaku really couldn't wait anymore; he needed action. Now. Damn it. His sexual frustration was killing him; he'd already spent half of the day thinking about how much he just wanted Lelouch. Every time he merely set eyes on the other boy, sitting proudly on his throne or sifting through documents in his office, Suzaku's mind conjured up images of how he'd pull Lelouch by the hem of his shirt, rip it to shreds and make him bend over (yes, Lelouch should keel like a bitch and take it). And then, Suzaku would give it to him, give it to him in a way no one else could.

But Lelouch had pushed him away last night. And he was doing it again now.

And fuck. Suzaku was hard. Again. Stupid imagination.

He was fed up of the agony and of his erection making him feel very, very uncomfortable in the tight pants he was wearing. He was glad that no one was in the quarters at that night. It would have been awkward and embarrassing as hell.

Imagine coming across an unsuspecting servant and then having to explain why you're popping a boner. Marvellous.

Even C.C was not present tonight, having locked herself in her room to enjoy the privileges of tasty, yummy pizza. Seriously, Suzaku didn't understand how she managed to keep in shape.

And if she were to witness me walking around with a hard-on, I'd never get to hear the end of it.

Lelouch was seated at his desk; files and files of manuscripts, war tracts and whatnot were piled on the said desk. It seemed as if the boy was surrounded by a mountain of paper-

Okay, Suzaku reminded himself, I'm going to stop trying to come up with imagery as I clearly fail at it.

"I'm busy, Suzaku."

Suzaku froze. How had Lelouch kno-?

Damn, arrogant bastard.

"I'm tired," Lelouch was saying, irritation so evident in his features that Suzaku nearly felt bad (the keyword was nearly). And he looked tired too: his hair was unkempt, falling against his forehead in a tangled mass, his face was paler than usual and his shoulders were squared, tense. Besides, his voice sounded like that of a worn-out soldier's.

He reminded Suzaku of someone who'd been around too much and seen too many people die before his eyes. Which Lelouch had. But so had Suzaku. They both had tasted blood before.

We are no different. Both of us are just sinners fighting for a cause we'd sacrifice lives for.

Images of Euphemia and Shirley flitted before his mind: their pale faces, their limbs slackened by the touch of Death and how they'd both looked so peaceful, happy even. As if dying had made them go to a bett-

Fucking stop this, Suzaku told himself. He hadn't come here for this. He'd put the past behind him. Like how he'd put the bad blood between him and Lelouch, without which, none of this could have been possible. Yet, no matter how hard he tried to move on, there were still moments when Suzaku hated Lelouch. Not only for being bitchy, grouchy or pushing him away, but - deep, deep down - Suzaku knew that once their plan came into fruition, he'd be alone again. Pushed away again and he had no say in it. He had no fucking say in it all.

Neither you or my father left me any choice, Lelouch.

(Which isn't right, Lelouch would tell him. I gave you the chance to join me back then, but you said no. You were so stubborn and hung up on your damned principle of pretentious pride. It didn't have to end like this. We could have worked things out. We could have.)

Maybe, Suzaku, gritting his teeth, thought, Lelouch was right. But it didn't change the fact that time was ticking-tocking quickly and that, sooner or later, Suzaku would lose.

I'm going to lose you. I found you and now you're being torn away. I hate it. I don't want you to go. I don't want to-

Lelouch was staring at him - confusion was etched on his features. "Suzaku? What the hell is the matter with you? You're shaking."

And he was right - absolutely so. Suzaku realised that he was trembling from head to foot, like one of those branches during a howling storm (ready to snap and break in two, and go -crack, crack - like a bone that's being crushed). Gosh, they were taking over him: the hatred, the anger and the fear churning in his stomach like a witches' brew and threatening to burst out of him like a caterpillar that pushes itself out its cocoon. His throat was tight, as if he'd not drunk water in days and he needed - he just needed to do it.

"Suzaku? What is - say something, damn it!"

(Lelouch looked so frail, so breakable. He wasn't. It was just a façade, a crafty one hiding the horns and tail under the guise of beautiful prince.)

Never mind the repercussions. Suzaku would worry about it tomorrow - wasn't tomorrow yet another day?

Lelouch's patience had reached a limit. Princely calmness gave way to a fiery temper and his voice, as he spoke this time, was that of a disgruntled boy's. "Suzaku, if you don't say something this second ... I'll ... why are you staring at me like that? Suz- mmp-"

Oh yes, he was so annoying. But his lips were warm and his body, though protesting, felt so bloody perfect against his own.

Lelouch squirmed for a bit. His fingernails dug and clawed Suzaku's skin harshly, but he soon gave way and sighed into the kiss. No one could deny their desires for too long, after all (humans are all rotten and corrupt, beastly and primitive in their basic needs). Suzaku, ruthless and animalistic desire pumping through his veins, forced his tongue into Lelouch's mouth, not caring whether the other wanted it or not.

Lelouch, however, apparently liked it rough - his mouth was welcoming and his hands, no longer busy in attempting to push Suzaku away, were wrapped around his neck. And Suzaku loved it, for, as lethargic as Lelouch usually was, his kisses were just like his sharp mind: probing, never shying away and competitive. When Suzaku challenged him, Lelouch fought right back. Tongues met in a constant challenge of withdraw and attack, attack and withdraw. But it wasn't enough. Suzaku needed more; both of them needed more. They were grinding against each other now, lower body parts meeting again and again to feel more of that wonderful friction.

More and more.

Again and again.

Each time their groins met, Suzaku felt close to exploding. He felt like running out of air. So, he did what had to do and broke the kiss because he didn't want to die of suffocation just yet.

Time to get serious about this.

"Lelouch ... I ... desk," Suzaku said, voice hasty, as he rubbed Lelouch's erection with his gloved hand. Oh yes, the little prat liked that. He could tell from the way Lelouch, with his usually pale face flushed red by desire, bucked and sighed. Just for good measure, Suzaku caressed Lelouch's arousal more; he pressed and lazily circled his fingers against it, earning little mewls from Lelouch. "Let's do it here. Right here. Let me have you against this desk."

(Let the knight be king for once. And the king be the knight for once. A shift in power).

Lelouch, never one to give in easily, snorted in mock disgust and swatted Suzaku's hand away. "Are you stupid? With everyone being able to walk in and spy on us? Besides, I'm not your bitch: you lean against the desk and take it from behind."

There was a smirk on his face. Comprehension lit up Suzaku's brain. He grinned too, remembering how they'd been as kids. It had always been like this (it was a game; with Lelouch everything was a complex web of riddles and deceit).

"Or, if you really want me, then be man enough to get me."

It was now or never. Suzaku knew that Lelouch was testing him. And he wasn't going to disappoint him. "Yes, my Lord."

With that, Suzaku grabbed Lelouch by the wrist, placed a quick kiss against his lips and, after letting go of his wrist, pushed him against the desk. Lelouch groaned, partly from discomfort but also from anticipation. His eyes were wide, anxious and lighted by eagerness. But still, there was a slight frown on his face and then he grinned.

(Like a fox, a predator which had just expertly gotten its victim right where it wanted).

"I thought you wanted to take me from behind, Suzaku?"

Oh, so that's how it is. Lelouch thinks I'll do whatever he wants.

But that wasn't all.

Suzaku shook his head. "No, on second thought," he pressed his lips against Lelouch's temple, "I'd rather have you looking at me. Because - because it's more real like this."

(He needed Lelouch to see him, to see him as he fucked him. And he needed it too. Needed to know that it was Lelouch he was doing this to. Not some random boy toy.)

Lelouch nodded and, for a moment, he smiled. Not a condescending or fake smile, but a real one (the sort that he usually reserved for Nunnally: soft and full of affection). Then, for no apparent reason (or for every reason in the world), he placed a hand against Suzaku's cheek, letting his long, elegant fingers trail over warm, sweaty skin. Suzaku shivered. In spite of how cold they felt, Lelouch's fingers seemed to burn him.

"You're so silly. But -" Lelouch's smile faded and his eyes were downcast, but his voice was unmistakeably tender and loving when he spoke, "but I like that about you. Anyhow, let's not waste any more time, okay?"

Feeling something whirl sickeningly inside of him, Suzaku nodded. His whole body felt like a bag of lead and his mind was dull, so dull. But, at the same time, he couldn't still the need inside of him.

(It shouldn't have been like this. Reason should hold its fortress against Lust. But, the wall had already crumpled and the town besieged.)

Suzaku kissed Lelouch harshly, hate and despair and love rolled in one. (I love you so much that it breaks me. I hate you so much that it kills me. And I need you so much that I'm coming undone and won't be calm until you're mine.)

Lelouch licked his lips, placed both of his hands on either side of Suzaku and just waited. Suzaku didn't disappoint him and hastily, as if driven by drunk-induced frenzy, worked on Lelouch's pants, undoing his fly and, once they were past his ankles, pushed them down the floor where they fell and become an ugly heap. Although it was silly, Lelouch suddenly felt vulnerable and exposed. It had to be the setting they were in; in the bedroom, Lelouch had fairly little qualms about getting naked (or nearly naked, for that matter).

Suzaku, with no grace in his movements, fumbled with his own clothes, quickly throwing them to an ever-growing pile of garments that lay scattered on the ground.

"Don't look at me like that, idiot," Lelouch muttered through gritted teeth. Why was Suzaku staring at him like that? It looked seriously scary - Suzaku looked as he'd watched too many romance films. "Do something, but stop staring at me like a lovesick schoolgirl."

(Of course, he never admitted out loud that he rather liked having Suzaku's beautiful green eyes fixed on him).

"I can't help it," Suzaku whispered, pulling Lelouch's legs apart and situating himself between them; both of them hissed as their erections rubbed against other, creating a delicious friction.

You're so beautiful, Suzaku thought as his tongue swirled around Lelouch's aroused nipple.

Suzaku kissed Lelouch's forehead, then moving to his neck and trailing it with another series of wet kisses. "I just can't get enou-"

Lelouch swatted Suzaku's hand away, rolling his eyes.

"If you say I'm sexy or beautiful, I'll scream. Enough with the cheesy pick-up lines. We're not in a gay bar, Suzaku."

(And lust is not what binds us.)

Suzaku chucked. "I bet that deep down they turn you on. Or do I have to remind you of that one time I had you blindfolded and told you all sorts of delicious things?"

"They don't - fu-" Suzaku put in a finger inside Lelouch's anus, then inserting another finger. Lelouch hissed out, eyes blazing with fury at the not necessarily unwelcome, but nevertheless uncomfortable intrusion. He couldn't help from clutching the end of the desk with his nails. If he'd had long ones, they would scraped along the surface, making a screeching noise.

"Stop whining and squirming."

"It fucking hurts."

And it did - hurt that was. Suzaku had forgotten the lube and there was no way he'd do this without that. He might like challenges (they were like games of chess which, with a clever move, you could control the figures on the board, winning or losing wars; all depended on him, the deity of that miniature world). But he wasn't into pain.

Maybe, he was too hyper-sensitive, but Lelouch could never entirely get over the embarrassment of having Suzaku's fingers inside of him. Sex, he believed, really shouldn't be that damned awkward; hey, he was the Emperor! Maybe he should just abolish it.

Suzaku was, yet again, convinced that in some instances, Lelouch was an incredible Drama Queen. Some of his speeches as Zero had had quite the flair for drama and Suzaku wondered whether Lelouch wasn't a bit too fond of overreacting to things, especially now. They'd done this how often before? Okay, maybe they'd not done it that often before, but often enough that they should very well be past this phase. Or maybe, it was just him.

Sometimes, Suzaku wondered whether Lelouch wasn't right about his being a teeny bit stubborn. Never mind that, though.

Suzaku sighed as he saw Lelouch flinch again while he was twisting his fingers inside of him; he pulled them out and made Lelouch face him.

"Look- I'm not going to hurt you. You know that," he stated, trying to sound as calm as possible, though - in truth - a part of Suzaku felt like punching his fist through the wall.

Lelouch turned a shade of red; stupid Suzaku for looking so earnest and serious when he uttered such idiotic expressions. It just made him feel warm. "I know - and don't treat me like some dumb bimbo. Also, I'm not made out of porcelain."

No, but you're rather sexy when you're angry, Lelouch, Suzaku wanted to say, but decided against it. Somehow, he didn't think that Lelouch would appreciate the comment at the moment.

"Then trust me."

Lelouch sighed. "I do trust you, Suzaku."

"Then what's the problem?"

Lelouch gnashed his teeth in a feeble attempt not to let out a string of curses. "This. You said you'd do me, not tease me."

Oh? So you want it this badly, Lelouch?

"What?" Lelouch asked, peevishly eyeing the not so secret glint of delight snaking up Suzaku's features. It made him want to punch the other boy for daring to look that ... amused?

"I didn't know you were that needy. Nearly like a bitch in he-"

That was it. Lelouch punched Suzaku in the face (if you couldn't handle your man, a punch in the face or groin for good measure would always work). After all, it didn't mean that he was going to allow Suzaku to treat him like that, just because he took it up the ass.

"If you have anything else of this sort to share, I'll teach you a lesson in humility you'll never forget," Lelouch promised darkly and, for a moment, his eyes squinted.

After that, Suzaku quite wisely decided that maybe he'd tortured both of them for too long. Not to mention, his arousal just demanded action. Or something like that. After all, there was no reason to further encourage Lelouch in his wrath since the boy, though not physically strong, could be quite devious in his punishment.

"I just need to get the lub-"

Lelouch shifted on the desk, leaned down and, opening a shelf, produced the wanted article with a huff of annoyance before Suzaku's eyes. He rather artlessly shoved the tube into Suzaku's hand, making him understand in a non-verbal manner that he'd better get started or heads would roll (just like the Queen of Hearts, Lelouch held the cards in his hand). However, it seemed that subtlety didn't work with Suzaku and Lelouch, feeling irritation running through his veins like good old vino, found himself forced to communicate his intentions verbally, an action he'd have preferred not to commit. Because, really, how embarrassing was this?

"There. Thank God that one of us actually thinks. Now just do it - me - whatever."

Really who could say no to a request as humbly and elegantly presented as this?

(The devil. A blob of stone. Amongst other things.)

Suzaku was, thankfully, neither the arch nemesis of God nor made out of stone; the sight of Lelouch - furious-looking, yes - but clearly turned on and flushed quickly triggered him to act out. Hastily and with a trembling hand, he squirted the lube over his cock and, breathing heavily, positioned himself at Lelouch's entrance. And fuck- Suzaku nearly forget how to breathe. Tight, he thought. Lelouch was so tight and warm, and Suzaku couldn't do anything but push himself inside until he filled the other boy completely.

Of course, Lelouch still had something to complain about.

"You should have - fuck - warn-warned me," he gasped out. Not that he minded too much. In fact, Lelouch was astonished by how much he did like being surprised. Perhaps being forceful towards Suzaku was a good thing, if it led to such fruitful results.

"Lelouch, shut up," Suzaku angrily said and started to thrust, too intent to care about anything but fucking. Lelouch simply wrapped his legs around Suzaku's hips; he closed his eyes and lost himself in the sensation of having Suzaku buried so deeply inside of him, of feeling Suzaku's penis stretching him.

Sooner than Suzaku would have thought it possible, Lelouch was bucking against him, unconsciously urging him to move faster. And he did.

(They were running out of time, running and running against something that they could never catch up with.)

The desk creaked each time Suzaku moved in and out of Lelouch, creating a strange rhythm that corresponded to the swiftly-beating hearts of both boys. It was messy, of course. Lelouch would never cease to stop thinking that the feel of sweaty skin against skin, the slapping of flesh against flesh was disgusting, and there was also all that harsh grunting and groaning.

(Like primitive animals, devoid of any finer feeling or decorum. Beasts losing themselves in the age-old dance of physical necessity.)

Lelouch hated the sounds he was making, abhorred how his body seemed to arch into Suzaku's and how he couldn't help wanting, needing more. But God - it was Suzaku, and if it was him, Lelouch figured that it didn't really matter. As long as it was Suzaku's back he was scraping his nails against, as long as it was Suzaku's sweat-moistened neck he was biting to and his hasty breaths that were whispering all sorts of incoherent sounds into Lelouch's ear.

I love you, Lelouch thought, I love you.

And I'm sorry, he wanted to say.

(But sounds, words are often lost in the distance, somewhere: broken to bits and pieces. And you're only left to pick up the splinters that have been left behind, alone and forgotten.)

What Lelouch didn't realise was that Suzaku had forgiven him long ago. He could see that they were both slowly reaching the edge; Lelouch's hardened cock was brushing against his stomach - obviously in need of some attention. Suzaku cupped his hand over Lelouch's penis and started to pump as his own thrusts quickened; the desk shuddered more and - fuck, fuck - Suzaku gritted his teeth so violently that he felt his underlip being torn open and blood spill into his tongue. He kissed Lelouch then, forcing the other boy to taste blood and spit; Lelouch didn't complain though, but took what he could get.

(They were truly one now, body and mind, heart and soul.)

"Suzaku, damn it - harder," Lelouch was saying or panting. It didn't matter really. His fingernails were digging into Suzaku's back more aggressively now, and his legs were wrapped tighter - Suzaku continued pumping his cock until Lelouch spilled himself over his hand, coming with a soft cry. All the while, he'd been thrusting harder, rocking into Lelouch's body. As he felt the other boy's walls tighten around him, it didn't take much for Suzaku to follow. With a "damn" and "holy shit", Suzaku spilled himself inside of Lelouch as everything faded to black.

For a while, they were simply still - heartbeats that been swift slowing down and both of them just enjoying - clinging - to the peaceful atmosphere (looming preciously, nearly tentatively over them so preciously that a simple rupture would have made it crumble.)

Then, the banter kicked in (because, in the end, you just have to smile, even when there's nothing to grin about.)

"You're heavy: get off," Lelouch rather abruptly said and killed the mood.

"And you complain way too much."

"Shut up, Suzaku."

"You shut up."

(And, although they didn't live happily ever, they were happy when it counted).

--