transient_words (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
transient_words) wrote2011-01-15 02:45 am
transient_words) wrote2011-01-15 02:45 am
Entry tags:
[fic] Gargantuan Snail
Rating: NC-17
Warning(s): Extreme crack. That’s all. Don’t read if you value your sanity. Co-written with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
yinake , but parttime_job and emberflie also helped.
Summary: dumbledore and snap-chan get it on and then you get punched in the face.
…
When Snape first set his eyes upon Dumbledore’s cock - so erect and pink (it glittered like a red ruby stuck in a crow’s eye), all he could think of was that Dumbledore’s penis could only, very poetically, be described as gargantuan.
A gargantuan snail that lovingly slid into Snape’s rose-tinted orchid of love, at present.
The wet cavern of love quivered around the giant tentacle that lovingly raped its cavity. Snape turned around his head to steal a glance at his perfect, regal lover. His heart beat wildly, he felt himself gasping for breath - oh his heart! Oh, how it quivered in his chest like a gorilla urging to escape and feast upon bananas innocently hanging on banana trees.
“Rape me harder,” Snape moaned. “Give me your all. Rape me until my insides bleed and dribble to the floor like meaty chunks of rejected butchery. Ravish me, make me you yours, devour me, master. Oh, rape me, Dumbledore - fire of my loins, love of my life!”
Dumbledore angled his thrusts of t-rexaur proportions, and suddenly Snape felt penetrated (filled to the core, impaled as if by an arrow - thick and hot and burning - oh, it soared through him, like a thunderbolt shot out of a meteorite falling from the skies). Dumbledore smiled and licked his lips, eyes glinting mischievously as he saw the delicious tears of pleasure roll down Snape’s rose-coloured cheeks. His beauty, his innocence - how it moved his soul. Dumbledore, incensed by youthful passion, thrust even deeper into Snape’s abyss of paradise.
The formerly-caged viper of Snake’s dong erected its head, pressing urgently against his stomach. He was getting hot, so hot, with Dumbledore buried so deep inside him. Oh he loved it, no, he loved HIM. Now he realized it: HE LOVED DUMBLEDORE.
(Like he’d never loved anyone before, oh no. His love was as eternal and pure and precious and beautiful as the shining yet rotten teeth of a horse’s skull, lying on the street and trodden on by fat bitches with jiggling breasts. His love was eternal, like the fornicating bees in a cherry-field orchid of lust).
He shook and cried with the revelation. Snot ran down his cheeks and drooled off his jaw.
Finally, he’d found someone to spend eternity with, someone who’d protect him from all kinds of evil. Oh, how Snape’s poor (maiden) heart fluttered with excitement, how quickly the blood pumped into his veins as he realised that the bad days were over.
Throughout the haze of Snape’s avalanche of happiness (his knight, his savior!), he dimly wondered who the children would take after. Whether they’d be as glorious and beautiful as their father or as virginal and pure as him, the unworthy slut.
Well, at least he’d be able to tell soon after birth, he consoled himself. Gargantuan penis, and it could only take after his beloved’s rod of happiness.
Then Snape started to cry (a water-balloon bursting opening). His eyes, already glittering innocently like the eyes of a glass doll, widened as tears, sparkling as bright as morning dew, ran hotly down his cheeks in perfect waves.
And Dumbledore, seeing how his beloved cried, thought with perfect reverence and elevation (the sort of elevation that a poor man feels when, after having found a bag of gold in the gutter, goes to a brothel with women whose breasts aren't withered nor smell of fish and finally, finally digs his cock into a tight pussy). “Snap-chan, you were so beautiful. You were as radiant as a diamond glittering, sparkling, radiating on a green, dung-infested rotten ship underwater.”
Snape had time to wonder why Dumbledore spoke of him in past tense when he saw the glitter of the chainsaw Dumbledore had hidden inside his own anus.
Laughing like a madman, Dumbledore pressed “on” and, with howling shrieks of laughter, hahaha, heard the buzzing noise of the chainsaw and saw how blood splayed all over the wall (a canvas where poetry and verse became one and revealed the truths of the impenetrable universe that sheltered its secrets like a thick hymen).
Snape shrieked as he felt life leave his lover. He turned around, his hair swirling around him theatrically, raven spun like fine gold, now splattered full of blood like a bizarre halo.
“My love,” he cried with more snot running down his nose. “Why did you do this? Oh how, my love, can I live without you?”
“To... protect you... from me,” Dumbledore wheezed.
Life was leaving him, but he felt happy. He’d achieved his life’s mission.
As he died, Dumbledore ejaculated, shooting white, hot streams into Snape’s fertile ass, to ravage the land like black rain after the apocalypse, and Snape let out a content sigh.
At last, at long last, he had succeeded.
He had stolen Dumbledore’s seed, and his powers would be finally his.
…
Author's Notes:
Brain, it broke. It broke repeatedly until there was nothing left but a pile of rotting goo.
Warning(s): Extreme crack. That’s all. Don’t read if you value your sanity. Co-written with
yinake , but parttime_job and emberflie also helped.Summary: dumbledore and snap-chan get it on and then you get punched in the face.
…
When Snape first set his eyes upon Dumbledore’s cock - so erect and pink (it glittered like a red ruby stuck in a crow’s eye), all he could think of was that Dumbledore’s penis could only, very poetically, be described as gargantuan.
A gargantuan snail that lovingly slid into Snape’s rose-tinted orchid of love, at present.
The wet cavern of love quivered around the giant tentacle that lovingly raped its cavity. Snape turned around his head to steal a glance at his perfect, regal lover. His heart beat wildly, he felt himself gasping for breath - oh his heart! Oh, how it quivered in his chest like a gorilla urging to escape and feast upon bananas innocently hanging on banana trees.
“Rape me harder,” Snape moaned. “Give me your all. Rape me until my insides bleed and dribble to the floor like meaty chunks of rejected butchery. Ravish me, make me you yours, devour me, master. Oh, rape me, Dumbledore - fire of my loins, love of my life!”
Dumbledore angled his thrusts of t-rexaur proportions, and suddenly Snape felt penetrated (filled to the core, impaled as if by an arrow - thick and hot and burning - oh, it soared through him, like a thunderbolt shot out of a meteorite falling from the skies). Dumbledore smiled and licked his lips, eyes glinting mischievously as he saw the delicious tears of pleasure roll down Snape’s rose-coloured cheeks. His beauty, his innocence - how it moved his soul. Dumbledore, incensed by youthful passion, thrust even deeper into Snape’s abyss of paradise.
The formerly-caged viper of Snake’s dong erected its head, pressing urgently against his stomach. He was getting hot, so hot, with Dumbledore buried so deep inside him. Oh he loved it, no, he loved HIM. Now he realized it: HE LOVED DUMBLEDORE.
(Like he’d never loved anyone before, oh no. His love was as eternal and pure and precious and beautiful as the shining yet rotten teeth of a horse’s skull, lying on the street and trodden on by fat bitches with jiggling breasts. His love was eternal, like the fornicating bees in a cherry-field orchid of lust).
He shook and cried with the revelation. Snot ran down his cheeks and drooled off his jaw.
Finally, he’d found someone to spend eternity with, someone who’d protect him from all kinds of evil. Oh, how Snape’s poor (maiden) heart fluttered with excitement, how quickly the blood pumped into his veins as he realised that the bad days were over.
Throughout the haze of Snape’s avalanche of happiness (his knight, his savior!), he dimly wondered who the children would take after. Whether they’d be as glorious and beautiful as their father or as virginal and pure as him, the unworthy slut.
Well, at least he’d be able to tell soon after birth, he consoled himself. Gargantuan penis, and it could only take after his beloved’s rod of happiness.
Then Snape started to cry (a water-balloon bursting opening). His eyes, already glittering innocently like the eyes of a glass doll, widened as tears, sparkling as bright as morning dew, ran hotly down his cheeks in perfect waves.
And Dumbledore, seeing how his beloved cried, thought with perfect reverence and elevation (the sort of elevation that a poor man feels when, after having found a bag of gold in the gutter, goes to a brothel with women whose breasts aren't withered nor smell of fish and finally, finally digs his cock into a tight pussy). “Snap-chan, you were so beautiful. You were as radiant as a diamond glittering, sparkling, radiating on a green, dung-infested rotten ship underwater.”
Snape had time to wonder why Dumbledore spoke of him in past tense when he saw the glitter of the chainsaw Dumbledore had hidden inside his own anus.
Laughing like a madman, Dumbledore pressed “on” and, with howling shrieks of laughter, hahaha, heard the buzzing noise of the chainsaw and saw how blood splayed all over the wall (a canvas where poetry and verse became one and revealed the truths of the impenetrable universe that sheltered its secrets like a thick hymen).
Snape shrieked as he felt life leave his lover. He turned around, his hair swirling around him theatrically, raven spun like fine gold, now splattered full of blood like a bizarre halo.
“My love,” he cried with more snot running down his nose. “Why did you do this? Oh how, my love, can I live without you?”
“To... protect you... from me,” Dumbledore wheezed.
Life was leaving him, but he felt happy. He’d achieved his life’s mission.
As he died, Dumbledore ejaculated, shooting white, hot streams into Snape’s fertile ass, to ravage the land like black rain after the apocalypse, and Snape let out a content sigh.
At last, at long last, he had succeeded.
He had stolen Dumbledore’s seed, and his powers would be finally his.
…
Author's Notes:
Brain, it broke. It broke repeatedly until there was nothing left but a pile of rotting goo.