[fic] The Walls Have Eyes

[transient_words]

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.

Rating: NC-17 

Summary:  "I really never pegged you two as exhibitionists." Suzaku/Lelouch.

Warning(s): wall!sex, implied voyeurism, lots of kissing. Self-edited (which might be fail, given how RL is rather :/ for me right now, not joking.)

A/N:  Sidefic/what if excursion from  Teamwork. Written for the cgkinkmemeii. Orignal thread here. 

***

Perhaps, she's made a huge mistake telling Suzaku about the true circumstances of Euphy's death.

Yet, the boys with their constant to and fro honestly make her want to do something drastic, like putting herself on fire, just so they could snap out of their egoistic little ritual relationship dance and realise that there are other people in their proximity too …

Right. Some future saviours of the world they are when they can't even keep their dirty laundry private.

Well, at least the accommodation is alright. Lelouch promised her reasonably good quality, and the room isn't lacking in that: the bathroom is pristine, does nothave white tiles, and the bed - oh the bed, C.C thinks, is glorious.

Now if only things would finally go according to plan … C.C sighs and decides to not pursue that chain of thoughts for much longer.

Because she's done her job, she managed to roll things into motion by telling Suzaku all about Euphy.

Perhaps, not the best strategy, but it'll get the two boys to talk honestly with each other.

Something she feels they've both quite needed for a while.

***

Suzaku has had it with being lied to.

He was going to tell Lelouch this in the storehouse, but – after certainevents – Lelouch stormed out, leaving Suzaku with no other choice but to follow him.

While he does so, Suzaku rolls his eyes, not even out of breath. "You know, I should be angry - not you, Lelouch!"

Lelouch turns around, his eyes flashing with something dark and fierce; he's got his fist clenched, and Suzaku is, for a fraction of a second, intimidated. "Just fuck off, Suzaku. I told you everything. Now leave me be."

He's walking quickly now towards the direction of their hotel room, and Suzaku - he could leave Lelouch be, think about everything that he's said (it was an accident all of it - Shirley, Euphy …).

But he doesn't, even though Lelouch is moving away from him again, and he's doing it surprisingly quickly, his anger providing him with enough energy to keep on walking, to keep running away.

But Suzaku can't let go, not yet. Not when this thing - it's new and barely tangible - stands between them. "Is this because I kissed you?" Suzaku's voice is quiet, calm, even though his heart is beating wildly against his ribcage, and his mind is filled with memories of how soft and warmLelouch's lips felt against his. "I didn't do it on purpose, but it happened, and ... you shouldn't run away."

Leouch is still walking, and Suzaku, his lips trembling a little, asks, "Does it bother you that much that we kissed?"

It's at that moment that Lelouch does stop walking and turns around; he's shaking, and his posture is a little more stiff than usual, and he's clenching his jaw. His eyes are blazing, fixed on Suzaku's.

"Shut up. It was just … it doesn't bother me," Lelouch says, his tone angry, and a blush spreads all over his face. "Just let it go." And the emotion in his eyes darkens. "Just stop talking about it already." He starts moving away again.

"No, it bothers you …" Suzaku jogs up to Lelouch, who's in front of the hotel room door now, and grabs him by the wrist. "You liked it, so I won't let it go."

Lelouch looks furious, anger blazing in those violet eyes. "Don't be so arrogant, Suzaku. It was just a ki-"

Suzaku slams his lips against Lelouch's, feeling him stiffen again, and his eyes are wide, so wide.

If Suzaku were merciful, he'd stop now and pull away, offer a humble apology and pretend that thisnever happened, but he doesn't pull away and, biting against Lelouch's under lip, forces his mouth open, and slips his tongue in -

And Lelouch reacts, his tongue moving awkwardly against Suzaku's, his hands gripping Suzaku's shirt.

Suzaku presses Lelouch against the door of the hotel room, but Lelouch pulls away, with trembling hands. "Stop this. This is insane," Lelouch says, voice shaky and with a slightly bewildered look in his eyes. "I don't know what makes you think that thisis appropriate."

Suzaku just shrugs his shoulders and smiles - a little shyly. "Maybe it's pent-up frustration. Maybe," Suzaku leans towards Lelouch again and brushes some loose strands away from his face, "it's something we've both wanted for a while." He licks his lips.

Lelouch looks away, but not before Suzaku catches the array of emotion in his eyes.

"Lelouch, now -"

"What 'now', Suzaku? Are we going to fuck each other, and lick each other's wounds dry?" Lelouch is looking at Suzaku again, his gaze hard and brutal. "You think that this will make things better … bring back Euphy, Shirley and all those other people we've killed, directly or indirectly - you think, by fucking me, it'll be easier to go back to what we used to be?"

Suzaku's answer is firm. "No, we could never go back to what we used to be." Of course not, of course not.

Lelouch just rolls his eyes, and opens the door, muttering a 'I thought so' as he does so, and that's when Suzaku grasps that Lelouch doesn't get it at all, has it all wrong … but he's quiet for a moment or two while he follows Lelouch into their room, his heart thumping wildly as he closes the door shut behind them, neither of them noticing the figure sprawled out on the bed.

"It's because we've both changed too much … we're no longer those boys, Lelouch. We … have both sinned too much."

"Sin?" Lelouch lets out a bitter laugh, and his eyes narrow. "I don't think that freeing the world of Charles Vi Britannia could, in any way, be interpreted as a sin."

"And all those innocent people who died for you to achieve that … that was not a sin, I guess. It wasn't wrong? You're not bothered by it?" Suzaku can't recall a day when he doesn't feel guilty and doesn't wake up, sweat-soaked and eyes sore, from the remembrance of how just how much blood he's seen spilled because of him. "You have to least … have thought about it from time to time!" And he's grabbing Lelouch by the shoulders, shaking him, but not too forcefully.

"I don't have time for such musings. What I've done," he pushes Suzaku's hands away, "has been done. I can't undo it. If you live in the past, you can't do anything about the future."

A shiver runs down Suzaku's spine, and his throat goes dry. "Are those Zero's words or Lelouch's … don't you … feel sorry at all. Have you really -" Suzaku looks at Lelouch earnestly, desperately, and he sees Lelouch's eyes widen a bit again, notices that there's something there - something that isn't just indifference. "You're a liar. You do regret."

Lelouch chuckles, but it's not out of amusement. His chuckle sounds a little broken and off. "Stop this, what do you mean to achieve by this - tell me, what is the fucking pointof discussing this!"

"The point is that you're a coward, and I hate it. I just want you to be honest once. At least to me. Just once." Suzaku sounds desperate, pleading even, but he doesn't care.

And Lelouch really is angry now, his body shaking, and he's gritting his teeth. The expression on his face is nearly ugly because all the softness has faded - a grotesque parody of how composed Lelouch can be. "Suzaku, I already told you the truth. I've promised you that you can kill me. What elsedo you want from me?" And he is yelling, his voice booming through the room.

"Just tell me you're human! That - some part of you hasn't totally died yet. Don't wear masks in front of me -" And Suzaku is yelling too, his voice just as angry and upset as Lelouch's. "The least you can do..." Suzaku stops yelling then, stops talking at all and moves closer to Lelouch, putting his arms around him. "Just don't lie to me anymore - please." Suzaku's breath hitches, and he's not sure if it's a sob or a laugh, but it doesn't matter. His hands shaking, he clings to Lelouch tighter, and buries his face in Lelouch's neck.

Lelouch's hands are gripping his shoulders - uncertain, tentative. "Suzaku, you idiot- why," Lelouch laughs in a hollow way, "do you insist on making everything difficult?"

"Why," Suzaku looks into Lelouch's eyes, and smiles sadly "do you insist on making me hate you?" He shakes his head at the unguarded expression of pain and despair flitting in Lelouch's eyes. "It's not going to make things … less painful for me. I would still suffer - even if I hated you, wanted you really dead, a part of me would always mourn you."

"Suzaku, what -" But Lelouch doesn't finish because Suzaku kisses him again, but gently this time, and Lelouch doesn't respond immediately, but gradually loosens up, enough to wrap his arms around Suzaku's neck. And soon enough, he's kissing back too, his mouth moving against Suzaku's – the same tentative pressure as Suzaku's. Just lips pressing against lips.

But it's not enough, for either of them. At least, Suzaku can't help licking Lelouch's lower lips, and Lelouch can't help but open his mouth in response...

Suzaku pushes Lelouch more insistently against the wall as he grinds against him, his hands holding onto Lelouch's waist. Lelouch's lower body is grinding against his too, hands buried in Suzaku's hair while they're kissing – urgently now, nearly restlessly too and in tune with the movements of their lower bodies.

"I love you. Even when I hate you, I love you," Suzaku whispers as he nips the shell of Lelouch's outer ear. "I need you so much -" And he can't hide the fact that, definitely not with his erection rubbing against Lelouch's thigh. "I really would like to …" Suzaku swallows and kisses Lelouch deeply before whispering 'I love you' against his lips.

Lelouch lets out a groan and pulls Suzaku in for another kiss, aggressive and demanding … and, Suzaku can feel it now, he's just as hard.But it's not that, it's the way he's pressing against Suzaku too, moving against him that makes Suzaku groan.

"Hmm, how honest." Suzaku is chuckling, and he's smiling stupidly, a warm-giddy feeling spreading over his entire body. He leaves a trail of kisses against Lelouch's neck, lovingly, teasingly and reverently; it makes Lelouch sigh and wrap his around Suzaku's neck, and he's pressing even harder against Suzaku now, insistently before suddenly pulling away.

"Wait, here - not here." But Lelouch's voice is shaky, uncertain, and there's a flush on his face that has a lot to do with embarrassment, but also fear.

Noticing it, Suzaku presses a reassuring kiss against Lelouch's forehead. "I'll stop if you want me to."

A sigh escapes Lelouch's lips as he frowns. "It's not that, but this place…" He lets out a sigh and turns away to hide a blush. "You do realise that we are currently pressed up against a wall?"

Suzaku laughs heartily, which makes Lelouch raise an eyebrow. "What?"

"Actually, Lelouch … youare the one being pressed up against a wall." And he laughs again, leaning in to kiss Lelouch again, shutting up the retort that was definitely pushing its way past the other boy's lips.

This time, Lelouch doesn't freeze up, but kisses back immediately, his hands holding onto the front hem of Suzaku's shirt.

Suzaku breaks the kiss, smiling. "I think … this position isn't all too bad." For kissing, that is, and for tracing his hand downwards until it's touching Lelouch's hard-on. And for giving it a little squeeze that makes Lelouch's eyes flutter shut and whisper 'fuck'. Suzaku grins, tone playful as he says, "Definitely not bad."

Lelouch opens his eyes, and shakes his head. "Fine then. Have it your way." But Lelouch is smiling now too – a nearly playful smile that makes Suzaku just lean forward to capture Lelouch's lips in a kiss again. But Lelouch stops him, pulling something out of his pockets …

For a second, Suzaku just blinks. "You carry hand cream around in your pockets?" But then Suzaku laughs. "Ah, I should have remembered. You even have a sewing kit hidden in your purse."

"Shut up. I just have dry hands, and it was hot today …" Lelouch trails off, mumbling something about 'stupid, inquisitive friends making things even more awkward'. He regains his equilibrium soon enough though, and looks at Suzaku directly, his violet eyes burning with something intense that makes Suzaku's heart skip a beat. "If you are going to do it, then do it properly." His tone is a little warning, and there's a slight edge of insecurity there.

Suzaku is no longer smiling, his hands trembling a bit as he takes the cream from Lelouch. He swallows too, but Suzaku forces himself to smile as he takes a deep breath. "Okay. I promise … but you need to take your pants off."

"Shut up, I'm not that stupid," Lelouch says, sounding a bit irritated as he flushes and does start fumbling with his pants, in a way that is both neat and painstakingly slow.

However, Suzaku isn't really looking, too busy actually trying to get the hand cream smeared over his hands because he's read that you need lots of this stuff for this kind of sex. And something else - right, something with fingers -

"Um. I need to – you know." Suzaku swallows and does a fine pretence of looking at his hands, as if inspecting them would yield the answers to all the questions that have been haunting him. As if not looking at them would make it less evident that Lelouch is waiting for him to do something while only wearing his black briefs and a shirt that is two sizes too big for him.

Lelouch shakes his head then, a loud sigh emitting from his lips. "You're kind of adorable. Come now." He actually grabs Suzaku's hand as he kisses him briefly. "Just do it."

Nodding, Suzaku places a hand on those damned black briefs, and pulls them down in one go, ignoring the shiver creeping up his spine at the gasp Lelouch makes or the fact that he's suddenly greeted with the visual confirmation of Lelouch's arousal. Even if Suzaku has seen Lelouch naked before, it's never been quite like this.

And he's really hard, flushed and Suzaku licks his lips, marvelling at how different Lelouch is from him - thinner, and …

"Goddamnit, stop staring... "I said, 'do something', not -" Lelouch trails off, looking away.

"I'm sorry." Suzaku leans over to press a kiss against Lelouch's lips as he touches Lelouch's cock, earning a gasp that is drowned out and muffled by the kiss. He pumps gently, while his other hand is reaching down. When it's there, Suzaku licks Lelouch's under lip before deepening the kiss, gently sliding his tongue as the first finger pushes into Lelouch, who's tight and warm, and who shudders immediately.

Suzaku stops, breaks the kiss and looks at him with concern. "Are you fine -?"

"... Just a bit uncomfortable, but go on," Lelouch says, his voice a little hoarse while he's holding onto Suzaku's shoulders. "I just need to get used to it." He pulls Suzaku in for another kiss, silencing the unspoken 'are you sure?'.

Suzaku continues - gently moving that finger inside, his other hand still on Lelouch's cock. His walls are tight around his finger but, the more he circles and moves his finger, the more he finds Lelouch's body relaxing, and that makes him add the second finger cautiously. Lelouch's slight hiss is silenced by Suzaku's kiss again, and Suzaku is careful not to move those fingers too quickly, even though he does increase his pace a little -

Until he finds Lelouch shuddering and gasping, his whole body reacting as if - "Did I hurt you?"

"No, hah, no quite the … opposite, do what you did again -" Lelouch is saying, and lets out another little 'ngh' as Suzaku tries to hit the same spot. They kiss again before Suzaku pulls away, his cheeks flushed and voice shaky.

"... Lelouch, I -" He bites his lips, need lacing into his voice. "Can I - can I do it?"

This earns a chuckle from Lelouch, but his eyes are warm, and he grasps hold of Suzaku's hand, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I trust you, and I want this too."

There's nothing else for Suzaku to do now, but to unzip his pants - a little shakily, but he manages to get the zipper down anyway, manages to free his cock from the constraints of boxers, and he wonders aloud if he should use more lube -

"It's fine," Lelouch says as he pulls Suzaku closer. "I'm relaxed enough." His hands are holding onto Suzaku's shoulders again, grip tight but not desperate, and he wraps his legs around Suzaku's waist. "It really is fine."

"Lelouch -" Suzaku whispers as he positions himself, pressing against Lelouch's entrance but still not pushing inside: Lelouch's breath is hot against his cheek, his grip tightening and … Suzaku swallows, trying to suppress the trembling of his body. "I'll put it in now."

And with that, Suzaku looks into Lelouch's eyes as he enters him slowly, and he lets out a shaky breath. It's - tight, so tight, and warm, but more than that, those eyes never leave his as he keeps pushing in and in.

Although he's just biting his under lip a little, Suzaku knows Lelouch is uncomfortable, so he waits, burying his face in the crook of Lelouch's neck as he does so.

"...You can move," Lelouch says after a short while, a groan escaping his lips as Suzaku kisses his collarbone, then the corner of his mouth, his breath certainly tickling –

"Damnit, Suzaku," Lelouch's whisper cuts through the room, and makes Suzaku stop his little foray into tenderness; he looks into Lelouch's eyes, and seeing the need reflected there (as strong, as desperate as his own) Suzaku grins. "I just want to explore you."

"... We have time for that later too," Lelouch says, but it's quiet, insecure. And his eyes, for a second, betray sadness, but he shakes his head and smiles then, as if deciding that sombre thoughts were not necessary now. "You really can start moving now - or do you need an extra invitation?"

"Okay." Suzaku gets it now, grins again and squeezes Lelouch's cock as slides out a little, and then pushes back in. And he starts moving, the roll of his hips forward as gentle as possible, and it's so tight, and Suzaku bites an earlobe, as he whispers, "... god, this is …"

"Is what?" Lelouch's voice is barely above a whisper itself, but he can hear the amusement in it and the warmth. His hands are running up and down Suzaku's back – exploring skin underneath the shirt, his finger pads soft and gentle against the small of Suzaku's back.

It tickles a bit though … and Suzaku giggles before his mouth finds Lelouch's lips again, kissing him fully, in between whispering 'hot', and 'tight' and 'good'. His tongue flicks out to lick Lelouch's under lip, and - groaning - Lelouch opens his mouth: their tongues meet, moving against each other as Suzaku fastens his pace, and slides out a little, only to enter Lelouch again –

Ngh Lelouch moans into his mouth, as Suzaku's cock pushes in deeper, and he's groaning himself, dizzy with all the sensations clouding his senses. He kisses Lelouch again and again, unable to stop - Lelouch's taste, his warmth, the way he shudders - triggering him onwards.

Something Lelouch isn't objecting to - definitely not as Suzaku changes his angle by chance, and feels Lelouch clencharound him. He also feels fingernails digging into his skin, making him hiss. But it's not enough to make him stop thrusting in like this again -

"Ah - Lelouch," Suzaku groans out, burying his face against Lelouch's neck, but he pulls away because he wants to seeLelouch while he's doing this, and his heart skips a beat - he's never seen Lelouch look like this. His eyes are glossed over with desire, but something else too, something warm, so warm -

(his eyes are saying 'I love' and 'I need you')

And Suzaku thinks it's this gaze that is more intimate nearly than being currently inside of Lelouch. The realisation makes him thrust in even deeper, his hand resting on Lelouch's waist now. "You feel so good."

"... don't stop. Do it harder," Lelouch says and his tongue darts out to lick Suzaku's cheek, his legs wrapped tighter around Suzaku's waist now, and he's moving his hips insistently, meeting each of Suzaku's thrusts, loud gasps escaping his throat. "Fuck me," he whispers, then bites Suzaku's earlobe. Commanding.

So Lelouch, and so perfect, Suzaku thinks, and slams his lips against Lelouch's as he starts fucking him, and loses himself completely.

It's just instinct now, just the need to feel more of that tight heat around his cock that makes Suzaku move, the motion of in and out a silent command to his body, and the mantra of Lelouch's name a quiet scream ringing in his ears.

Lelouch is moaning into the kiss again, his soft lips and hot mouth moving just as insistently as Suzaku's; he's clenching more than ever, and the sensation that has been enshrouding Suzaku is more noticeable, more tangible now. "Ah, I - ah, I think I'll be coming soon," Suzaku whispers against Lelouch's lips, knowing full well that his hot breath makes Lelouch shudder, but he's reluctant to stop kissing him.

"Mmm," is all Lelouch offers as he breaks the gap between them, his hands on Suzaku's cheeks as he's kissing him. That's all the answer Suzaku needs as he withdraws his hand from Lelouch's waist, wraps it around Lelouch's cock, and - with his other hand on Lelouch's hip - drives into him.

From then onwards, it's just a blur of things: sensations, feelings, noises, and sights -

(and it's not about fucking, it's not about Lelouch feeling so good or being so warm, but them both - him and Lelouch - finally being completely honest to each other:

Lelouch, giving in, because he trusts and needs Suzaku, more than anything.

And Suzaku, succumbs because he knows that Lelouch is no longer lying to him, and because - in spite of everything -he also trusts and needs Lelouch -)

Suzaku doesn't know who comes first; maybe it's him, burying his face in Lelouch's neck, feeling his hair tickle his cheeks as his orgasm washes over him, and he spills himself inside of Lelouch.

Or it's Lelouch, holding on tightly to Suzaku as he moans out 'Suzaku' and makes a mess of their shirts, but it doesn't matter. It really doesn't fucking matter.

They're finally together.

***

It's touching and sweet, C.C thinks, how Suzaku is breathing heavily against Lelouch's neck, and how Lelouch is holding onto him tightly as if he feared letting go.

Cute.. And full of affection, trust and love ... a lot of things she doesn't remember feeling, and that – even though she had no problem watching the two boys having sex (it made her feel good and wicked as she rubbed, thumbing her clit against the thin material of her panties, silently getting off on the sight -), C.C feels uncomfortable now, an empty feeling gripping her stomach. It gnaws at her, and C.C – not wanting to confront it now- snaps back to reality by using the weapon she's most effective at handling.

"You know, the next time you two decide to have sex again," a smug smile spreads over C.C's face, "make sure that you check whether someone else is in the room." Her tone is mocking, cutting, and – she is sure of it – as much of a mood killer as a dancing elephant in a pink tutu during a concert.

There's an audible gasp in the room – probably Lelouch's, and Suzaku tears himself away from Lelouch's neck, cranes his head awkwardly and his green eyes, for the first time, fall upon her person – noticing that she's been having a very good view of their actions from her bed.

A flush steals upon his face, and his voice is strained as he says, "C.C –"

"Yes, the one and only," she replies, still smiling as she gets up from the bed and starts walking towards the door, nonchalantly as if this were nothing strange and unusual.

But just as she's about to open the door and leave, she (for good measure) says, "I really never pegged you two as exhibitionists."

She doesn't hear any reply, doesn't expect to, but it doesn't matter.

She's sure she'll get a single room from now onwards, and that's all she wanted anyway.

Checkmate.

***